I’m John Allan, but before I became a Court Officer, I was one of New York’s Finest. And around the precinct, they call me “Shorty” – a badge I wear with as much pride as my actual badge. Standing a mighty 5’5″ in my boots, I’ve never been the one to turn heads, especially among the ladies. But let me tell you about this one New Year’s Eve that flipped my world upside down.
So there I was, patrolling Times Square on the busiest night of the year, feeling a bit like a penguin among flamingos – short, stout, and not exactly Mr. Popular with the ladies. The night was colder than my Aunt Edna’s meatloaf, and with everyone around me ready to ring in the new year, I felt as festive as a turkey at Thanksgiving.
Then, out of the blue, I spotted her – a woman who looked as lost in the crowd as a cat at a dog show. She was about my height, with a smile that could light up Broadway. I sauntered over, my heart pounding louder than the New Year’s Eve fireworks. “Lost, ma’am?” I asked, trying to sound cool but probably sounding more like a nervous teenager.
She laughed – a sound that made my knees wobble more than the NYPD’s annual donut dash. She had lost her friends and was new to the city. So, Officer Allan to the rescue! I showed her around, cracking jokes that surprisingly made her laugh. Maybe it was the New Year’s magic, or maybe she had a thing for short guys with a badge.
As midnight approached, we found ourselves at a little café, away from the crazy crowd. The countdown started, and my heart was racing. Ten, nine, eight… I was about to experience my first New Year’s kiss!
Three, two, one… Happy New Year! And then, she leaned in and… planted a kiss right on my shiny bald head. I stood there, stunned, as she laughed and said, “I always wanted to kiss a cop’s head for luck!”
Turns out, she had a boyfriend, a marine biologist studying penguins in Antarctica. Talk about irony. We exchanged a friendly hug, and she thanked me for the tour. I walked back to my post, chuckling to myself. Only Shorty Allan could turn a potential New Year’s romance into a penguin blessing.
So, there I was, starting the year with a shiny, kissed head, feeling luckier than a four-leaf clover in a pot of gold. Who knows, maybe this year my luck would change – after all, I just got a kiss from a lady who wasn’t my mom. Happy New Year, indeed!
